Download Be My Baby: On the Road to Fatherhood by Neil Humphreys PDF
By Neil Humphreys
While strains seem at the being pregnant attempt equipment, Humphreys international is grew to become the other way up. he's excited yet clueless and urgently wishes a few instructions. finally, his largest accountability so far were a puppy hamster and he misplaced that two times. From the instant his health care professional tells him to publication an obstetrician's appointment, he is aware he's out of his intensity he doesn t understand what an obstetrician is.Humphreys bargains with mom and dad who mock his intercourse force, midwives who query his usefulness, associates who proportion purely bad start tales, strangers who rub his wife's stomach and other people who appear to comprehend every thing there's to understand approximately being pregnant (but usually don t have youngsters in their own). And there s that worrying dream approximately her giving delivery to a plastic toy lizard made in China.How will he care for his parental insecurities? What s the key to being an honest dad? Will he drop his child on the start? either humorous and poignant, Be My child is a frank account of Humphreys quest to be an excellent father. each mum or dad will determine together with his trip and maybe start to comprehend what they themselves placed their mummy and daddy via, even within the womb.
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Additional info for Be My Baby: On the Road to Fatherhood
Example text
You can get the names of the obstetricians from the receptionist when we’re done. OK then, why not pop onto the bed and take your clothes off,” said the suddenly chirpy doctor. ” I appreciated the doctor’s efforts to protect my wife’s dignity but he seemed to disappear more often than the Scarlet Pimpernel. My wife, who has never felt the least bit embarrassed when it comes to these kinds of examinations, whipped off her clothes so fast I thought they were attached by Velcro. ” “You’re lying there with your bits out waiting for a middleaged man to return with a pair of surgical gloves and some jelly.
I now know how Britain’s Liberal Democrats feel. I hold a vote. My wife holds a vote. Our unborn child now holds a vote apparently. My wife controls the unborn child and, ipso facto, controls the house. She holds a literal and moral majority now. What kind of man goes against the wishes of an embryo? ” I ventured. ” “Come on, mate. ” The house majority had spoken. So I sat and stared at a woman’s cervix being stretched wide enough apart to deliver three babies. I should have got drunk on the intoxicating experience, the creation of life, the beauty of birth.
This was throwing up at its finest and my wife could not be happier. When her finest hour arrived, I was in the living room watching the English Premier League highlights show. “Neil, come here quickly,” her moaning, dislocated voice echoed around the house. “Yeah, all right, I’m coming,” I replied, and returned to my inertia. I told you how many West Ham won by, right? “Neil, come here, now! ” That made me move. I grabbed a bag and ran to the toilet, The First Trimester where my wife had buried her head halfway up the U-bend.